“What the fuck is going on?”
“What the fuck is going on?”
Hi, I’m Brian, father, husband, artist and former university lecturer turned facilitator of transformational journeys and…
…almost ten years ago, I found myself on the floor in tears screaming
“I can't keep doing this"
The cause? I’d dropped a pack of eggs! Yes seriously! That was my final straw. The moment I realised enough was enough.
Of course, it wasn’t about the eggs. It was about years of burying my past, pushing down the painful experiences I had never truly spoken or felt.
Now, years later, I support people who are where I’ve been. People who feel completely numb at one moment, only to be engulfed by a flood of emotions the next.
People who keep asking,
“How am I here again?”
They’ve tried doing “the work”
They’ve tried doing “the work”
The people who find me aren’t new to healing. They’ve:
Spoken to a therapist
Practiced meditation or breathwork
Read the books, listened to the podcasts
Tried positive thinking, affirmations & journaling
Despite all their efforts, they still find themselves:
Perfectly skilled at spotting the worst-case scenario.
Lying in a sunny park, unable to relax or close their eyes “just in case”
Struggling with intrusive, dark thoughts wondering, “What the hell is wrong with me?”
In spirals of guilt after a small mistake like snapping at their child or partner
Over-giving in relationships, constantly prioritising others thinking "I just want them to be okay."
Only feeling good when they’re helping others, and when they can’t, they’re left feeling worthless
Having an exit plan ready in social settings "I’ll say I’m sick and leave by 9."
Downplaying their past, telling themselves, “Everyone has their problems.”
All of which leads to emotional exhaustion, constant self-doubt, and little energy left for anything eles
If this is you, there is something I want you to know
If this is you, there is something I want you to know
You are not broken.
This is not your fault.
There is a way through this.
You are not broken.
This is not your fault.
There is a way through this.
When I hit rock bottom, I started with talking therapy. It helped me make sense of my past and the way it shaped my present.
But even with all that awareness, the pain remained trapped in my body. No matter how much I understood my patterns, I still found myself:
Overwhelmed by emotions
Seeing threats everywhere, even when they weren’t there
Falling back into the same place, muttering, 'not again".
Then, I found someone who changed everything. A guide who didn’t just help me understand my story but showed me how to feel it.
When I started working with the emotional pain in my body—where it had been buried all along—the real transformation began.
No amount of thinking or talking could shift it. The healing had to come from within, where the pain had been stored.
My way into this (and through) was using Breathwork and Somatic Processing. Practices that gave me access to the felt experience in my body, where the true healing occurred.
For the first time:
For the first time:
I felt safe in my own skin.
I cried deeply but not from sadness, as a process of release.
I realised I had been holding onto fear in my body for years without knowing it.
I recognised that this work was changing me at a deep, cellular level.
I felt the pain from my past in my body, and now I could let go.
I wasn’t stuck anymore.
I’m no longer constantly overwhelmed by life, and I haven't ended up on the floor crying over broken eggs.
Painful moments still come — that’s life. But now, I meet them with compassion instead of spiraling into self-doubt or hopelessness.
I can now ask for help without shame, knowing I’m loved for who I am, not just what I give. I set boundaries without guilt and finally know what it means to feel safe.
I can be present with my son through his tears and laughter. I can see the love in my wife’s eyes — even for my “flaws.”
I get to experience the full tapestry of life without being overwhelmed — pain, joy, purpose, grief, love, despair, and a deep, abiding joy I once thought was out of reach
And for the past seven years, I've dedicated myself to showing others that they can feel all of this too.
